


PBG's Blue Screen of Death

by DelphiaDallhaus



Category: Asagao Academy: Normal Boots Club, Hidden Block (Video Blogging RPF), NormalBoots
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Self-Indulgent, i love writing pb&j, i'm pretty sure everyone is ooc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-16
Updated: 2018-05-16
Packaged: 2019-05-07 17:16:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14675778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DelphiaDallhaus/pseuds/DelphiaDallhaus
Summary: An unexpected call on PB&J steals PBG's heart singlehandedly. Jon isn't willing to deal with it.





	PBG's Blue Screen of Death

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Sunflowers and Radio Waves](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11467602) by [Hinganbachuru (Twilight_Joltik)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Twilight_Joltik/pseuds/Hinganbachuru). 



“Alright! It’s caller time!” Jon pulled up his phone as PBG announced into his mic. “You know the drill. Punch in the PB&J number, give us a question, and we’ll answer it to the best of our ability.” He gave Jon a knowing look as he tapped his phone, then set it down.

“You’re live on PB&J! This is Jon, who’re you?”

_ “Oh! I didn’t expect to actually make it on first. Nice.”  _ A low, familiar voice sounded from the phone, and Jon couldn’t help but take a peek at the phone. Rather than a random number, a contact photo of a certain rapper in a stupid hat greeted him, “yungtown” over the photo. _ “I’m Zilda. The Flower Festival is coming up soon, right?” _

PBG nodded. “Yep! On Friday next week.”

Jon raised an eyebrow. “I didn’t know you cared about it, PBG.”

His partner shrugged, as Lu-  _ Zilda _ continued.  _ “You don’t care about it?” _

“I mean, it’s not a priority, but I’m definitely going,” PBG said. “Have you guys ever been to that taiyaki stand, over near the statue? I swear, it’s the best I’ve ever had. That’s reason enough to go!”

“Same thing, here. Only I go because I actually appreciate traditions, history, and not taiyaki.”

“Psh. Traditions are for nerds.”

_ “So, I guess you’re going alone, PBG?” _ Zilda asked.

“Guess I am.”

“That’s great- I mean, cool. I am too, so it’s nice to hear that I’m not the only one.” There was a shuffling on the other end, and just before Zilda hung up, he could hear him exclaim, “Bro! You’re not gonna…” before he hung up.

Jon wondered aloud, “Why doesn’t anyone care if I’m going alone?” 

“‘Cause you’re a nerd who goes to festivals for tradition, history, and not taiyaki.”

“Hey. I’m a cool nerd. This festival wouldn’t be half as good if you didn’t understand the story behind the old man and the nature spirit.”

“Says the guy who can’t fold a traditional, historical origami flower to save his life.”

Jon scoffed. “Whatever. Next caller! This is PB&J, how’s it going?”

_ “Oh, Jon. It’s Jeff. Uh, is PBG there?” _

“Always, dude.”

_ “Cool. Um.”  _ Jeff’s phone shuffled, and Jon could swear he heard someone mutter something in the background.  _ “Flower Festival is next week.” _

“Yeah. It is.” Jon took a gander at PBG, who was scratching the back of his neck and looking away from the phone, despite the fact that he was alone with Jon.

_ Oh. _ Jon put two and two together, and leaned forward with interest.

Jeff cleared his throat. _ “So, you, uh, wanna go? To the festival?” _ PBG’s face went completely pink, and Jon couldn’t help but hide a snicker.  _ “Ah, of course you do! You just said you are...” _

“You can do it, Jeff,” Jon whispered.

_ “Yeah. Uh. With me? I mean, do you want to go to the Flower Festival with me?” _

PBG was silent. “If it helps, he’s blushing so much. And he’s got a hand over his mouth, and super wide eyes.” Jon giggled. “I think that’s a yes, Jeff.”

“Yeah,” PBG finally muttered. “I do. That’d be cool.”

_ “Cool. I’ll pick you up? Six? Is six good?” _

“Six. Let’s six.”

_ “Cool.” _

“Cool.”

Once more, the phone crackled, and Jeff hung up. The hosts were silent for one, two, three seconds.

“I think we broke PBG,” Jon observed. “He’s not doing anything.”

Sure enough, PBG was frozen. “Jeff asked me out,” he softly said.

“He sure did. And it was the highlight of my career, and will forever be until the end of time.”

“I’m going out with Jeff.”

“Uh-huh. Let’s continue?” He was met with no response, but laughed a little anyways. “If these next calls aren’t about the school’s hottest new couple, what’s the point?”

“We’re a couple?”

“You are, Peebs. Heya, caller! You’re with us- er, me- on PB&J- actually, is this just the J episode?” Jon wondered aloud. “Whatever. Go ahead and ask us- uh, me- a question.”

_ “My name is Marina. What that last question scripted?” _

“Not that I know of,” Jon said. “I don’t think PBG expected it either?”

He ran a hand through his hair. “That was real, right?”

“Yeah, he didn’t expect it.”

_ “Huh. That’s weird. Ho hum, I guess. See ya.” _

“This episode is so surreal,” Jon mused as Marina hung up. “Someone got asked out, PBG died, and I still don’t have a clue on how to fold origami flowers. What gives?”

PBG didn’t answer. Jon didn’t know what he expected. “Moving on. I guess we should play some music? I found out that an Asagao student makes some awesome electro pop songs. ‘What If I’m Hurt Again,” performed, written, and submitted to us by Garrett Williamson. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to make sure my co-host didn’t pass out on me.”

A funky synth song played through the speakers, and Jon spun around in his chair to face PBG. He slumped down through his chair and buried his flushed face in his arms.

Jon tapped him. “Earth to Peebs?”

“Muuugh.” PBG poked his head out. “Jeff asked me out, right?”

Jon rolled his eyes. “Yeah, I think we made that clear.”

“So that means he likes me?”

“Why else would he ask you out on the show?”

“And we’re…” he gulped. “...The hottest new couple?”

“Okay, listen up, because I’m not gonna explain it again,” Jon huffed. “See, Jeff likes you, so he asked you by calling us on PB&J, because apparently that’s romantic. And also, I’m pretty sure our first caller was Luke, who was probably wingmanning for Jeff. So he asked you out, and you said yes, because you like him too, and if you don’t, I’m incredibly disappointed. And the song’s almost over, so hurry up and come back to life so the show can go on.”

PBG groaned and tried to hide himself underneath his arms further. Jon slugged him.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> so i was halfway through writing this when i realized that there's already a fic in the archive where jeff asks out pbg on pb&j and luke helps him do it  
> i'm just gonna list it as inspiration because it's a genuinely good fic all'o'y'all should read


End file.
